Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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