my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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