would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
