So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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