If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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