I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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