It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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