Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
