You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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