This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
