I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
