Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The power of my boobs compel you
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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