i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
