On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there's paper in my vomit.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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