you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
