i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
