would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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