my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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