man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
