I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Never joke about your clitoris.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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