just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize