Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
