I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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