I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
