You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
