Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
this is an emotional support booty call
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
