i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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