if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize