YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
