would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
