So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
