She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
