he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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