Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
