I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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