I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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