Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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