i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
