Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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