She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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