i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
