Buhtt sex?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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