One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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