im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
