The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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