paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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