he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize