"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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