Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
