what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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