I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
