i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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