Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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