Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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