cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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