I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
