If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
