return my video game
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
