Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
