Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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