I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
