My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
