I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
