Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
